Gays, Russians and Ulpan

The first week of Ulpan is finished!

On the first day of Ulpan, we were tested to see how much Hebrew we knew and to determine where we would be placed.  Although I knew how to say in Hebrew, "Where is the restroom," and the instructor agreed that was very important, ir wasn't enough to put me in a level 2 class.  Nope, David and I are Level 1 or "Aleph," as they say in Hebrew, and we are happy to be there.

The first day of class, we found ourselves with a female Orthodox instructor. We could tell she was Orthodox because her arms, legs and hair were covered.  She was very nice, but spoke very little English.  There were about 28 people in the class, all of them Russian.  David and I were the only two English speakers.  The Russians were very friendly, and almost all of the men were named Alexander unless they were named Uri.  The common female Russian name was something like Syrianna, but only two women had that name.

Our instructor,  Ef-rat -- you roll the "r" and say r-r-aht -- was very soft-spoken.  She spoke Russian quite well, but very little English.  When she presented a word in Hebrew, she could explain it to the Russians, but her explanation to us often didn't make sense.  The first day we learned three letters of the Hebrew alphabet in cursive, and 7 Hebrew words.  The second day we learned 7 more words and three more letters.

The following day, a blond female instructor came in and took over, and she seemed to have an attitude.   She was dressed like a flight attendant, wore a hat, but you could still see her hair, so apparently was not as orthodox as our first teacher.  Her name sounded like S-T.  She was quite stern and humorless.  Soon another lady entered the class and started calling off names.  Although it may have been explained in Russian, we had no idea what was going on, but those people who were called got up and left the class.  Then the woman with brown hair called out David and I, and we started following the others to another classroom.  "No, no, Room 10," and she pointed to a far away classroom across the courtyard.

I was kind of sad to go, because -- like I said -- the Russians seemed like a fun group who would enjoy a good party and a lot of laughs.  There was one Russian sort-of "picking" on us.  Our thinking he was born during the cold war and learned a lot of negative propaganda about Americans, and still hadn't grown beyond the brainwashing.  He would say "American!"  add something in Russian like it was some kind of joke.  Of course, we had no clue what he was saying.

There seems to be a drinking fountain shortage in Israel, as in maybe there's one at the airport in Tel Aviv and no where else. David and I bring bottled water to class.  The other option would be to purchase cafe-au-lait during break and pay for it.  Since we don't drink coffee, bringing water seems like the logical choice.  The Russian picking on us, wanted to know if it was Vodka:  vodka we understood.

There was another Russian couple who were in the class that I am rather curious about and wanted to observe their relationship.  They are rather handsome people, she blond and he dark and dashing.  They have a certain amount of sophistication that is lacking in most Russians here in Haifa, and look like the stereotype of Russian spies.  But that's not why I'm interested in them.  They seem to have a curious relationship.  On the first day of school, they arrived late and as they were coming into the room, he was yelling at her so loud it disrupted the entire proceedings.  A lot of men in the class laughed out loud, the laughter seemed to be a mix of discomfort and agreement.  He didn't care that he was making a spectacle of himself, and he ditched his wife to sit next to another woman  complaining loudly in Russian.  I gathered he was justifying his actions and dignifying his righteous anger.  The wife was sitting alone in the back row and I glanced over at her, she looked ready to cry.

When we were removed from the Russian class, she made a point to tell us, "bye-bye."  Bye-bye seems to become a globally used word along with okay.  After five months of Ulpan, you probably get to know your classmates pretty well, and I'm kind of disappointed I won't have the opportunity to know the Russian spy-woman who is in an abusive relationship.  Not that I could help or even that she would want help.

Anyway we now have a much better teacher, Rivka, who speaks English, Russian, French, Hebrew and Yiddish.  This class moves at a much faster pace than the other one and after missing the first two days with Rivka, we are already behind.  Not good.  She spoke to us about this problem and said we can go back to a slower class if we want -- but we don't want, she is a very good instructor.  If we can't catch up, what we will do in February is start again from the beginning with a new instructor.

Rivka could be funny, but the student are too international and the class is too intense for jokes.  We are learning to recognize and respond to, "Where are you from?" along with directions, places in Israel, capital cities and basic placement.  The word for state is "med-eh-not," as in California, or the State of Israel, to which she said:  Israel is the 51st state.  No one in class except David and I seemed to get the inferrence.

The students in this class are from all over the world.  I have met a nice woman from Venezuela and want to talk to her about Chavez when there is more time.  Two have lived in the US, but again most students are Russian.  This gay couple who used to live next door to us until they found permanent housing are also in this class.

Roberto, not his real name, is from Italy and is kind of a know-it-all.  When we're talking he just takes over, but his English is excellent and he, in fact, does know a lot about aliyah and Israel -- yet he has only been here three days longer than we have.  He has, however, previously lived in the country for 6 years and also has many friends in Tel Aviv, which happens to have the reputation of being the friendliest city to gays in the entire world.  Yet, for some reason he doesn't want to live there.

Roberto told our project director, who showed up at Ulpan to make sure her charges were present, that he hoped to find a wife in Israel.  When he said that a look of puzzlement crossed my face and I almost blurted out something inappropriate, but caught my tongue and noticed the project director smiled, nodded, and said maybe he would indeed find a wife here in Haifa.  I thought Roberto already had a wife:  the man who is his roommate and constant companion.  He's very quiet.  They're a couple kind of like me and David.  He does all the talking and I just stand around and smile and pretend to be a sweet person.

When Roberto and his friend lived next door to us, they would play opera really loud.  I enjoyed it, but I always enjoy listening to other people's music (unless it's rap, soul or country).  Yet, when I play the exact same music at home, it seems to lose its flavor.  Roberto and his quiet friend would often have people over, always men -- never women --and sometimes I heard something like spanking going on, but then the opera would be turned up louder and I couldn't hear much.  It's not like I had my ear against the wall trying to spy, these walls reverberate and you can't but hear stuff you really don't want to be hearing.

So, it's probably wrong of me to simply assume two men are gay because they happen to make aliyah together, live together and pretty much go everywhere else together.   Anyway, I could care less about other people's sexual preferences, it's just that when Roberto said he was looking for a wife it really took me for a loop.  I like Roberto and his quiet friend -- who has been opening up more in Ulpan -- and hope to get to know them better.