Correct Change or Else!

Here's what you see in the United States every now and then, a penny or a quarter on the ground.  Here's what you see in Israel, a lot of litter for the Ethiopian Jews to clean up but never a shekel or even a argot.

United States bills and coins are pretty straight forward:  you have your bills with the smallest being one dollar, and you have your coinage the smallest component being the penny.  Easy.

Instead of the dollar, Israel uses the shekel.  Like the dollar, the shekel will break down into smaller components.  You have the half shekel and the argot.  An argot is 1/10th of a shekel.  In other words 10 argot make up one shekel.  There's a small problem with this.

Israel has a 16% value-add or sales tax on all merchandise.  However, unlike in the US, the tax is not tagged on at the point of sale the tax is included in the price.  So if something is 50-shekels, that's how much you will pay, not 50 plus 16%.  Like in the US, instead of pricing something at an even $10, it will be priced at $9.99.  Fresh produce in particular will be priced at something like 4.99 per pound and then you have a pound an some ounces so the prices comes to 5.78.  Well, there is no coinage to give exact change for odd amounts.  If I hand over 6 shekels the cashier would only give back two argot, and I short 2/100's of a shekel.  Not a big deal, but over time it adds up in favor of the stores.  

Unlike the US dollar bill, the shekel itself is a coin about the size of a dime.  The worthless half-shekel and argot are bigger coins than the shekel.  The smallest bill is worth 20-shekels and other bills come in denominations of 50, 100, and 200.  Other coins are the 2, 5 and 10-shekel coins.  

Cashiers, for some reason hate to give change.  They hate it.  At the grocery some they get really irritated when he presents a bill and he doesn't have correct change.  So David always gives them bills so they have to make change.

What's the big deal about making change?  When we went to Tel Aviv, the round-trip ticket cost 110-shekels.  He handed the cashier a 200, and she wanted something else, and he shook his head.  She pulled out the 90-shekels in change, saw that he had a 20-shekel bill.  Made him give her the 20 so she could put the 90-shekels back and give him a 100-shekel bill and a 10-shekel coin.  

Go figure.

Police, Water, Shabbat,

Our new home is wonderful, sort-of.  It's on the third floor, but in Israel they call it the second floor because the first floor is not counted as a floor.  In the US it would be called a 2bed/1bath.  In Israel it's called a 3-room apartment.  The bathroom consists of a bathtub with shower and a sink, and the toilet is in its own private room -- hence the term "water closet."  

From the second bedroom and the kitchen we have a view of the Mediterranean and the Haifa port.  As much as I love water, David actually enjoys looking out the window more.  He keeps track of everything going on at the dock: how many ships are in, if they are unloading, which direction they come in and leave... Oy.  When we first moved in David commented we would be able to watch the bombs coming in from both Hamas and Hezbollah.  I was like, "Cool!  Oh wait, not cool."

The apartment does have its problems, they're called really bad leaks.  These are not small drip-at-the-sink leaks, these are seep-through-the-wall leaks.   Every time we take a shower a huge pond forms in the bathroom and we cannot find where the water is coming from.  Another leak is in the kitchen.  Whenever we turn on the kitchen faucet, water somehow seeps onto the counter.  Then today, the drain under the sink came undone and we have to capture the waste water in a bucket.  

Here's the other thing, most Israel windows don't have screens in the American sense.  They have black-out screens that are nice when in comes to sleeping in pitch black.  But they don't have open-the-window-and-keep-the-bugs-and-birds-out screens.  I asked the landlord about opening windows in the summer and he said open the windows.  I questioned him further about birds and bugs flying in, and he said Israeli birds know not to fly in the apartments.  We'll see about that.  I've heard from other sources that opening windows lets in mosquitos and it is terrible.  

So what we did -- which was stupid and we immediately regretted it -- instead of taking the bucket full of water that drained through the broken pipe in the sink and pouring it down the toilet or tub, we threw it out the window.  We forgot that people hang their freshly-washed clothes on clotheslines outside the screeen-less windows and realized we dumped dirty waste water on the laundry of the people who live below us.  If they come storming up the stairs and pounding on our door, we're denying everything.

With the problem of the broken drain in the sink, I happened to notice that the water line to the house is causally draped along the outside wall below our kitchen window.  It is black plastic tubing that vibrates every time you turn on the faucet.

At our temporary quarters at regular intervals during the day, we heard some kind of tune being played.  We eventually realized instead of a buzzer or yelling, it was a call to the boys at the Haredi school to come in from recess.   Although we are in the same neighborhood, we are far away from the Haredi and don't see them so much.  Now, however, on Friday evenings we can hear something that sounds like a combination of a shofar and siren that apparently reminds everyone that Shabbat has started.  It could also be a Muslim call for prayer, but since it only sounds on Friday at sunset, we're pretty sure its the signal to light the candles.

David keeps telling me I need to blog about the police.  In the United States, when a cop flashes their lights it means to pull over.  The Israeli police drive around with their lights consistently flashing.  People just ignore it.  I don't know what cops do when they want you to pull over.  I did see a cop behind a motor vehicle that had stopped in the street to let someone out at the mall -- the someone had difficulty walking.  The cop had a megaphone or something and was shouting at the car to move.  

Language Barriers and Peace in the Middle East

Haifa hosts two reform synagogues:  there's the one we go to and the one we don't.  Orthodox synagogues are supported by the Israeli tax dollar, but reform and conservative synagogues have to make their own way.  The reform synagogue, Or-Hadash, is supported almost entirely upon American donations, and there are several olim who are members, though not necessarily from the US.

The synagogue does not have heat.  Since energy is very costly in Israel -- and by Russian, Colorado, Canadian, and Arctic standards, Haifa never gets cold -- a heating system would be an expensive non-necessity.  During services, I sit and freeze and wonder if they could collect some of this cold and use it to cool the building in the summer.  Other than that, it is a beautiful building and a tribute to American dollars.

Unlike many reform shuls in the US, the people there are very friendly.  Many of them, including the rabbi, are olim from all over the globe:  Chili, Brazil, Argentina, Norway and the USA.  The shul even has congregants who were born and bred in Israel.  One such lady named, Katrina (not her real name), is a former ballerina and current teaches ballet.  She is very outgoing and speaks English quite well.  She might be the synagogue's yenta as she claims to have successfully matched a single female from England with another friend of hers.

Katrina has been nothing but kind, however, she does have a bias against the English language.  Bias toward one's own native tongue is natural; however, Katrina is quick to point out that English doesn't have a words for many things she wants to say.  I found her statement rather surprising since all anyone has to do is pick up a English/Hebrew dictionary and see that the English side is about three times the size as the Hebrew side.

For an example, Katrina told us English does not have a word to say before eating.  She gave us the term one usedsin Hebrew before eating, and said, " In English all one can say is eat."  I offered the word, enjoy, and she looked at me funny.  Later, we found the Hebrew word you say before eating translates into enjoy.

Later Katrina brought up another word that English doesn't have.  I can't remember the word, but it means:  A mother who has lost her son.  It's a tragic sort of word, and I  listened without defending the English language.  Afterwards, of course, I thought of some questions I could have asked her:

Why is there a word for a mother who lost her son?
Why not a word for a mother who lost her daughter?
Is losing a son more tragic than losing a daughter?
How about a father who has a lost a child -- does not a father grieve over such a loss?

My thinking is that Katrina doesn't know enough of the English language to effectively express what she can naturally say in Hebrew.

David and I have found the Hebrew language is very vague and limiting.  One word is used for a variety of things.  For instance, b'-vah-ka-shaw means please.  Before we arrived in Israel, David was saying, "you're not going to be hearing that word very much Israel" -- but we hear it all the time.  B'vah-ka-shaw means much more than please.  It is used as: you're welcome, my pleasure, or take it.  The term is also a polite way to say: hurry up, come on, and get the hell out of my way.

The Hebrew word pronounced "comma," means how much/how many and it also means some/a few.  Olay means cost and also means immigrant -- what are the implications of that especially considering Israel is a nation of immigrants.  The "l-" which can sound like "leh" or "lay" means to, per, for, etc.  Of course, the to-be verbs are implied.

English:  I am hungry
Hebrew:  I hungry

English:  Are you hungry?
Hebrew:  You hungry?

Some claim Hebrew is a divine language.  First, if Hebrew is a divine language, it shouldn't be used in mundane conversation but set aside for holy purposes only.  Second, how could something that sounds like baby-talk be divine?

David brought up the idea that peace in the Middle East may be a concept that the people here will never understand.  Look at the word Shalom.  It means peace, and it means hello and goodbye.  The idea being: I greet you in peace, Leave in peace.  However, if peace is taken in the context of hello/goodbye then what does peace actually mean?  It is my understanding the Arabic word salaam, also means peace and is used as hello and goodbye.  Does peace mean something different to people who speak Hebrew and Arabic than to people who speak English, German, French -- simply because of the way the word is used?

Leprosy in Houses

Thank goodness we're moving.  In the bedrooms and living room, there are several black dots on the exterior walls.  It's like the walls are becoming polka-dotted with different size spots of what appears to be black mold.  I wonder if the house is sick, as mentioned in Leviticus.  The Biblical passage is at the end of this blog if you want to read it.

Buildings here are primarily constructed with brick and stone.  A lot of older buildings have the electrical wiring and pipes for plumbing on the outside of the building scaling the walls -- it looks terrible.  Most buildings are built without insulation. 


In one apartment we considered renting, the architect/artist who seemed to be metro-sexual had knocked out a couple of small holes -- about 7-inches in diameter in the bedroom wall.  His idea was to put glass in the holes creating a new dimension of light.  Cool idea, but without glass, it was a wall with two holes leading to the outside.  The artist was big on light and the correct use of space, and in a very small area he created a spacious feel.   Regardless of the spacious feel, the apartment was too small; and besides it had two holes in the wall leading to the outside where cats could just come through whenever they wanted.

I made the mistake of feeding one of the feral cats that hangs out by our apartment.  It was so sweet, so I gave it a little bite to eat.  Now she expects to be fed three squares a day and meows at the door and the window to get inside.  Her meow sounds like a cricket so we were calling her Cricket, but she's gotten so demanding we call her Monster.  She's a black and white cat, her tail is black and her face looks like she has a black mask, and then she has dalmatian-like spots on the rest of her body.  


We were considering taking the cat with us to our new place, but due to the feral and territorial nature of the cats, I'm not sure it would be a good idea.  David assures me she will be fine when we leave, but the cat has been extremely spoiled for a whole month.  One day two girls came by and claimed the cat as their own.  Good, the kitty can become their monster.

The LORD said to Moses and Aaron, "When you come into the land of Canaan, which I give you for a possession, and I put a leprous disease in a house in the land of your possession, then he who owns the house shall come and tell the priest, 'There seems to be some sort of disease in my house.' Then the priest shall command that they empty the house before the priest goes to examine the disease, lest all that is in the house be declared unclean; and afterward the priest shall go in to see the house. And he shall examine the disease; and if the disease is in the walls of the house with greenish or reddish spots, and if it appears to be deeper than the surface, then the priest shall go out of the house to the door of the house, and shut up the house seven days." (Leviticus 14:33-38 RSV)

The Biggest Surprises About Israel

Moving to Israel has been fun, exciting and I came with an open mind and without a lot of preconceived ideas of how it would be here.  The differences between Israel and the United States seem quaint and old-fashioned, but not terribly surprising.  I try to keep in mind that Israel is only 60 years old and from its inception has been a wartime economy, thus buildings and goods are functional and luxury is for Americans.

That Israel is as modern as it is was a surprise to me.

Although there are plenty of trash cans along the street, litter is everywhere.  I guess there's no laws again litter-bugging.  You can see litter in the streets, on the sidewalk and even in people's yards.  I'm surprised there's not more national pride in keeping Israel litter-free.

Israel is a land of few resources and they must economize especially with water.  Thus it was no surprise that energy is very expensive and water is conserved.  What has surprised me is that people here don't drink water.  They drink imported drinks such as Coke, bottled tea, juice, and other sweet drinks, but not water.  In the US, you often see people taking their water bottle with them wherever they go -- not so in Israel.  People look at you funny if you are carrying a drink, especially if it's water.  People can't believe it when all you want to drink is water.  Israel does need to conserve water but not at the expense of people compromising their health.

For a land of few resources, I'm surprised Israel isn't doing more to be sustainable.    About 80% of Israel utilized solar-powered hot water heaters.  Almost every apartment -- most residential housing is a multi-plex -- has five or six hot water heaters on top of the roof with a solar panel attached.   This is a good start, but not enough.

We have been told that Israel uses the most expensive and dirty fuel possible -- coal -- which must be imported from the US and Europe.  No wonder utility bills are so high. Israel does have nuclear power plants, which come with their own problems.

Being energy independent for both Israel and the United States -- that is off the oil fix -- is paramount to national security.  Israel does have a national energy policy to be 25% off foreign oil by 2040.  That's too weak of a policy.  Israel cannot afford to lose a war, and energy independence could ascertain that during a crisis they would have the resources to fight their attackers and at the same time still feed their citizens:  which I guess now includes me.

So it has been a surprise that Israel has not been pursuing energy independence and other aspects of sustainability more aggressively.

Since being here for over a month, I have noticed that those people who speak English at a higher level also tend to have higher paying jobs and positions of more power.  It may be true that, "In Haifa people speak Russian and in Tel Aviv people speak English," but what I have noticed is English competency, even among those who speak English well, is very low.

I thoroughly believe it is my obligation as someone living here to become competent in Hebrew.  No problem.  

My issue is that English is the language of international business.  Other countries such as China, Saudi Arabia, Malaysia, Russia, Mexico are bringing in native English speakers to teach their citizen the language because these countries understand the importance English plays in world trade.  Israel seems to be indifferent to this.  All you have to do is read the Jerusalem Post online and see how often a badly worded sentence is allowed into print.  It is disconcerting to realize that Israeli citizens are not learning English well enough to be competitive in the global market.  

Israel is allowing people who do not know enough English well enough themselves to teach the language -- and it shows.  It shows in the material written in English, the faltering way they speak the language, and with people who constantly say, "English doesn't have enough words."  English doesn't have enough words?  All one has to do is look at a Hebrew/English dictionary and see that English has over twice the words as Hebrew.  Laments over lack of words merely indicates students are not learning vocabulary.

The government could allow -- or even require -- native English speaking olim to teach for one year as part of their service to Israel.  Most olim would probably be thrilled to be able to help Israel in such a way. I know I would.

Another Scary Thing in Israel

Little in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine ending up living in Israel, especially in an apartment with a panoramic view of the Mediterranean Sea.  Well, not the sea, Haifa Bay, close enough.  And the scenery isn't exactly perfect because of the oil rigs and industrial machinery, but still overall it's a nice view. We move in on the 12th.

Renting an apartment is not quite the same as how you would do it in the States.  In the States you fill out an application, possibly pay around $50 for the landlord to do a credit check, come up with deposit and first month's rent.  Or possibly deposit, first and last month's rent.  Some states cap the deposit amount to no more than one month's rent.  Then you sign a lease and move in.

How much different could it be in Israel?  A lot.

First, there are two types of landlords:  the landlord that feels it is a blessing to help the new olim, and the landlord who sees the new olim coming.  I hope we got the landlord that wanted to give the olim a break.

In the United States, the rent covers the property tax and the HOA fees.  In Israel tenants pay the owner's HOA fees and property tax, or as they say in Israel: ar-no-nah.  Fortunately, the government pays 90% of the new olim's ar-no-nah for the first year.  Then after a year for five years the olim has subsidized rent:  a subsidy just enough to pay the ar-no-nah.  We are not sure why the homeowner doesn't pay their own property tax and reflect that amount in the rent, but that's how it is done here.


Rather than paying rent on the first of each month, you have to give the landlord post-dated checks for an entire year which they will deposit into the bank.  Unlike US banks, Israeli banks will honor post dated checks and hold them until the specified date.  The rent is automatically paid.  You just better make sure the money is in the account when the bank deducts for the rent.

We had to give a years worth of checks plus pay two month's rent worth of deposit, first month's rent and an entire year's worth of HOA.  In addition the landlord is holding another check for 10,000 shekels that will not be cashed -- we hope -- and will be returned to us when we move, leaving the apartment in absolutely pristine condition, and of course, that we never bounced a check and kept up the utility payments.  At least we're pretty sure that's what happens.  We signed a lease written entirely in Hebrew.  We had a native Hebrew speaker look it over and tell us it was a standard lease and had someone else translate it as best they could figure it out, but still we really don't know what we signed.

Gulp.

Who is he and he is she and me is who

Until David and I can resume Ulpan which will probably be in March, we are learning as much Hebrew as we can on our own.  We're using Pimsleur, and I can't say enough good things about this learning method.  It works!  I taught myself basic French using Pimsleur and after a few 30-minute lessons knew enough Hebrew to ask:

Excuse me, where and say the street name?  or
Where is the hotel?
Where is the restroom?
and to comfortably say:  I don't understand Hebrew.  or
Do you speak English?  or
You are talking too fast.  or
I want something to drink. or
I want to eat something. and more importantly
I want to eat something, NOW.

You would not believe how often I have used those little phrases.  This is only the first part of Level I, and there are 30 lessons each level so by the time you finish level III you would be considered a high-level intermediate speaker.

The Pimsleur method creates conversations that you can actually use.  In fact, one evening after doing a Pimsleur lesson, someone called on the phone and spoke to me in Hebrew.  I was able to use the exact wording of the lesson we just practiced to respond to the caller, at which time she kindly switched to English.  Pimsleur has almost any language you want to learn even Swahili, and you can go online and just download the programs.  It's much better than Rosetta Stone, and cheaper too.

Anyway, enough of the Pimsleur commercial -- I should get a commission or something.  Ulpan has a very old-fashioned way of teaching Hebrew, similar to how we studied Spanish/French in school and didn't learn the language at all.  Everyone we've met who has graduated from Ulpan is still uncomfortable with Hebrew and they don't speak it well.  We've met English speakers who been here 5+ years and still don't know Hebrew.

At Ulpan we started learning our pronouns and it got kind of confusing.  In Hebrew who means he and he means she and me is who.  So David and I had a conversation that went kind of like this:

Him:  What is the Hebrew word for who?

Me:  Me.

Him:  What about you?

Me:  No, the Hebrew word for who is me.

Him:  Okay then, what is he?

Me:  Hu is he.

Him:  Who are you talking about?

Me:  I'm trying to tell you what hu means in Hebrew.

Him:  What does it mean?

Me:  He, it means he.

Him:  What means he?

Me:  Hu means he and he means she.

Him:  I don't know what the hell you're talking about.